Rows Red

Tomorrow is a very special day in our lives. Tomorrow Stephen and I will look at houses for the first time. There are a lot of things going through our heads right now, not the least of which is fear of the unknown and not a small amount of doubt. For a long time, whether when single or since becoming a couple, neither of us thought we’d ever be able to own a home. Not because we couldn’t qualify for a mortgage, especially once we became a couple. No, two or three years ago anyone would have given us a loan, whether it was a good idea or not. But, just because you can doesn’t mean you should, as so many Americans have found out the hard way. Mostly we doubted because we’re incredibly cautious.

As many of you know, my husband and I do not live on credit. It was only in the last two years that we took on any debt at all, and I do mean at all, in the form of a car loan for Steve and just recently for me when my car died. That and we took out a wedding loan that was then paid off within six months, and before then not a dime of debt. Steve actually had trouble getting credit because of this, so over the years he’s built himself a credit rating starting with a secured card and working his way up, all that time never carrying an interest bearing balance. We live this way because we feel very strongly that we’d rather have less at times than have more stuff… and more heartache. If an emergency has come up we’ve been lucky enough to be able to use our savings or do without until we could handle it.

We know that a big portion of our ability to do this is that we didn’t go to college and incur enormous loans. Also, our choice to remain child-free has greatly expanded our options. We do what we do without assistance from our families, and we’re proud to be standing well, on our own. Don’t get me wrong, we have lots of toys, but we save for what we want and weigh what we need against that. I’m not passing a judgement on anyone else, only explaining our situation.

So, now we find ourselves at a crossroads. A friend of the family, who is a very nice realtor, is helping us to get our feet wet and we’ll be touring a few homes Saturday morning.

I want a home more than words can say. I want my own space, even if we can’t afford a house that has enough space for a studio right away. I want to NOT hear the neighbors having sex, or the cops visiting the apartment upstairs (AGAIN). I want to have more then three feet of counter space in my kitchen and a gas range. I want to paint walls, decorate, plant and entertain overnight guests. I’m no great housekeeper, but I’ve been improving over the years and I long to make a home. We know we can’t afford to build, but we’re slowly moving forward, step by step, to see if home ownership is something we can reasonably attain. We’ve built our credit, paid our loans on time, taken the first time homebuyers course, educated ourselves. It’s scary as all get-out. We’re making an appointment with the housing counselors to build a plan of attack and see what’s available to help us.

We want to make wise choices. Despite how anxious and wary my parents are, I can only hope they’ll come to understand how very much I don’t want to jeopardize our current happiness by taking on more than we can handle. It may be that our price range won’t contain anything we’d want to own, and we’re defending ourselves against the temptation to look at nicer homes out of our budget. We’re in no rush, at all. We are prepared to be patient, and realistic. It may be that home ownership isn’t something we can do with our present jobs/financial means and maintain our current level of living. I’m prepared for that. But we know that we won’t learn anything unless we try, and I’m more than painfully aware that this is a once in a generation window of opportunity. We have a year or two while things are truly awful out there to find our own silver lining. I hope, more than words can say, that we are able to turn a dream into reality.

Tags: Life & Stuff, Seriously, teh husband